Terrorist Organizations Are for Killing, Not Playing Mosque!

I am not speaking to Mahmoud.

Samir and I were having a Faces of Death DVD marathon today when Mahmoud comes in and says, "Osama, great one, may I have a word?" I get up and we go into another part of the cave, and he asks why I am watching these DVDs.

What asshole! How dare he ask me anything!

But whatever, right? No need to be big drama king. So I say, "These DVDs are very good. You must join us."

And he says, "But Osama, the prayers. You and Samir are missing them." Oh my freaking god. I am not even kidding about this. He really said that.

So I say, "Mahmoud, you are so gay!"

And he says, "You cannot say this about me!" (Which is bullcrap because I know I can say it because I did say it.) "The prayers are important!"

So I tell him, "Look, I am the leader here! If we spent all our time saying prayers and reading Qu'ran like you want, we would never kill anyone at all!"

So he says, "Whatever," and I say it too, and then I go back to my DVDs. But I could not even enjoy them as much as before because I was so mad at big asshole Mahmoud.