Sneaks!

I got to over 300 followers on my Twitterspace. I was thinking, "Wow, this Twitterspace is a great recruiting tool for our organization. Already 300 more jihadis!"

So I was bragging about the success of my Twitterspace outreach to Samir. Do you know what he told me? You don't, so now I am telling you. He said, "That just means that they are reading your Twitterspace, not that they have joined Al-Qaeda."

This is bullcrap! Why are they calling them "followers" then?! This is an American plot to confuse me and make me angry so that I will make a mistake. (But I will not. I have never ever ever made a mistake. Never. ever)

Americans are tricky sneaks!

Terrorist Organizations Are for Killing, Not Playing Mosque!

I am not speaking to Mahmoud.

Samir and I were having a Faces of Death DVD marathon today when Mahmoud comes in and says, "Osama, great one, may I have a word?" I get up and we go into another part of the cave, and he asks why I am watching these DVDs.

What asshole! How dare he ask me anything!

But whatever, right? No need to be big drama king. So I say, "These DVDs are very good. You must join us."

And he says, "But Osama, the prayers. You and Samir are missing them." Oh my freaking god. I am not even kidding about this. He really said that.

So I say, "Mahmoud, you are so gay!"

And he says, "You cannot say this about me!" (Which is bullcrap because I know I can say it because I did say it.) "The prayers are important!"

So I tell him, "Look, I am the leader here! If we spent all our time saying prayers and reading Qu'ran like you want, we would never kill anyone at all!"

So he says, "Whatever," and I say it too, and then I go back to my DVDs. But I could not even enjoy them as much as before because I was so mad at big asshole Mahmoud.

Pokémon

Samir was here today. I told him about my new hobby. He did not understand and said that he read in the NYT that blogspaces were not any good. I held a knife to his throat and asked if he thought my blogspace was not any good. He said that mine is much better than all others.

Yes! Go me!

I think it's pretty good too.

Anyway, he said that Pokémon was his favorite hobby. He had many many cards and showed me how to play. This is a great game!

But I have no cards. I was going to have Mahmoud kill Samir tonight so that I could have his cards, but that is no good because he is the only other person who visits the cave and plays this game. I found many cards on eBay, but Mahmoud is adamant that we never use credit cards.

What a bunch of shit! I am a very powerful man! I should be able to use VISA! What crap!

So I asked him about PayPal, and he says, "No, no, Osama, great one. We cannot use this. The Americans will find you!"

And so I cannot play this Pokémon game. This is Mr. Obama's fault! He threatens me with getting killed by a missile just for playing Pokémon! What asshole! America is a land of jerks!

Osama bin Tweetin

I am tweeting now on my Twitterspace. You can read this. You have to click to see this.

Put your mouse here, and click this. That was a link that I made. I am studying the HTML language for the making of my blogspace, and it reads that making links is important to the HTML.

What Is Happening????!!!

What is happening now??!!!11 I publish my first blogwriting but I still have no followers says Blogger.

Blogger is full of lies! I am a very powerful man! I have MANY followers!

What a load of crap, Blogger.

I am very famous man. Very famous. What bullcrap Blogger is.

Follow my blogspace, please.

Yo and My New Hobby

Yesterday, while I am wearing my Whitney Houston wig, Mahmoud says to me, "Osama, you need a hobby. You are becoming eccentric being in this cave all the time."

Can you believe this? I told that upstart to fuck off. What an asshole.

But then I get to rethinking things, and I do want a hobby. Blogging will be my hobby.

Hello, infidels! Welcome to my blogspace.