tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76717327217320547872011-07-08T06:42:40.881-07:00My name is Osama bin Laden, and I been bloggin'! Hello, infidels! You follow my blogspace now.Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.comBlogger61100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-7127015218882436182009-09-18T13:12:00.000-07:002009-09-18T13:56:57.196-07:00I got to over 300 followers on my Twitterspace. I was thinking, "Wow, this Twitterspace is a great recruiting tool for our organization. Already 300 more jihadis!" <div><br /></div><div>So I was bragging about the success of my Twitterspace outreach to Samir. Do you know what he told me? You don't, so now I am telling you. He said, "That just means that they are reading your Twitterspace, not that they have joined Al-Qaeda."</div><div><br /></div><div>This is bullcrap! Why are they calling them "followers" then?! This is an American plot to confuse me and make me angry so that I will make a mistake. (But I will not. I have never ever ever made a mistake. Never. ever) </div><div><br /></div><div>Americans are tricky sneaks! </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-712701521888243618?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-46815817394878416982009-09-16T20:14:00.000-07:002009-09-16T20:33:34.039-07:00I am not speaking to Mahmoud.<div><br /></div><div>Samir and I were having a Faces of Death DVD marathon today when Mahmoud comes in and says, "Osama, great one, may I have a word?" I get up and we go into another part of the cave, and he asks why I am watching these DVDs. </div><div><br /></div><div>What asshole! How dare he ask me anything!</div><div><br /></div><div>But whatever, right? No need to be big drama king. So I say, "These DVDs are very good. You must join us."</div><div><br /></div><div>And he says, "But Osama, the prayers. You and Samir are missing them." Oh my freaking god. I am not even kidding about this. He really said that.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I say, "Mahmoud, you are so gay!"</div><div><br /></div><div>And he says, "You cannot say this about me!" (Which is bullcrap because I know I can say it because I did say it.) "The prayers are important!"</div><div><br /></div><div>So I tell him, "Look, I am the leader here! If we spent all our time saying prayers and reading Qu'ran like you want, we would never kill anyone at all!"</div><div><br /></div><div>So he says, "Whatever," and I say it too, and then I go back to my DVDs. But I could not even enjoy them as much as before because I was so mad at big asshole Mahmoud. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-4681581739487841698?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-78271082517358639462009-09-15T14:49:00.000-07:002009-09-15T15:08:46.684-07:00<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Samir</span> was here today. I told him about my new hobby. He did not understand and said that he read in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">NYT</span> that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">blogspaces</span> were not any good. I held a knife to his throat and asked if he thought <i>my </i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">blogspace</span> was not any good. He said that mine is much better than all others. <div><br /></div><div>Yes! Go me!</div><div><br /></div><div>I think it's pretty good too.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, he said that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Pokémon</span> was his favorite hobby. He had many many cards and showed me how to play. This is a great game! </div><div><br /></div><div>But I have no cards. I was going to have Mahmoud kill <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Samir</span> tonight so that I could have his cards, but that is no good because he is the only other person who visits the cave and plays this game. I found many cards on eBay, but Mahmoud is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">adamant</span> that we never use credit cards.</div><div><br /></div><div>What a bunch of shit! I am a very powerful man! I should be able to use VISA! What crap!</div><div><br /></div><div>So I asked him about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">PayPal</span>, and he says, "No, no, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Osama</span>, great one. We cannot use this. The Americans will find you!"</div><div><br /></div><div>And so I cannot play this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Pokémon</span> game. This is Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Obama's</span> fault! He threatens me with getting killed by a missile just for playing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Pokémon</span>! What asshole! America is a land of jerks!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-7827108251735863946?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-33029555446600665132009-09-15T12:15:00.000-07:002009-09-15T14:47:35.161-07:00I am tweeting now on my Twitterspace. You can read this. You have to click to see this.<div><br /></div><div><a href="http://twitter.com/osamabinbloggin">Put your mouse here, and click this.</a> That was a link that I made. I am studying the HTML language for the making of my blogspace, and it reads that making links is important to the HTML.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-3302955544660066513?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-27669587581483692962009-09-15T10:39:00.000-07:002009-09-15T10:42:39.048-07:00What is happening now??!!!11 I publish my first blogwriting but I still have no followers says Blogger. <div><br /></div><div>Blogger is full of lies! I am a very powerful man! I have MANY followers!</div><div><br /></div><div>What a load of crap, Blogger.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am very famous man. Very famous. What bullcrap Blogger is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Follow my blogspace, please.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-2766958758148369296?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7671732721732054787.post-3728469091713517582009-09-15T07:23:00.000-07:002009-09-15T10:39:18.183-07:00Yesterday, while I am wearing my Whitney Houston wig, Mahmoud says to me, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Osama</span>, you need a hobby. You are becoming eccentric being in this cave all the time." <div><br /></div><div>Can you believe this? I told that upstart to fuck off. What an asshole.<div><br /></div><div>But then I get to rethinking things, and I do want a hobby. Blogging will be my hobby. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hello, infidels! Welcome to my blogspace.</div><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7671732721732054787-372846909171351758?l=osamabb.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Osama bin Ladenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01516736320136493032noreply@blogger.com0